back again...

So, last time I blogged was about 6 months ago. But, in those 6-months I've experienced and learned a lot, so I've decided to blog more often. It's not for the public (which I don't really mind), but for myself.

Me and couple of my friends decided to go watch Transformers 2 on the midnight showing. Actually, we watched the 1:00am showing because the first three shows were sold out. By, the way it was an AMAZING movie. Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg did it again. Kudos to them.

This thought didn't come up while I was watching the movie, but just gave me an reminder (while I blogged this i will NOT ruin the movie):
We are never "ready" for anything in life. We can say that "I'm ready...". but really we are not. We can be excited or anticipate what can happen, but as human beings we are not "ready" for the next step in life.

As I've gone to my youth kids' high school graduations, i've heard a lot of "I'm ready for college!". But what those that really mean? I mean, we can be prepared, but not ready. In my own view, I feel like the mindset of being "ready" mean that you know what's going to happen, and you're ready for that experience to happen. So, how are these young-minded late-teens know that they are ready for college. Matter of fact, how do WE know we're ready for anything we do?

It's like riding a roller coaster for the first time. While we're in line, to get to the roller coaster, we see how the ride is from the outside. Which mean, we've heard it before from other people that have been through it. Then we sit into the seat, strap ourselves in then the workers make sure we're strapped in, then the ride slowly goes. In this case, we prepare ourselves then take the first step into the next chapter of our lives. Now, the roller coaster is on the peak where it is about to drop. By this time, all of our preparation leading to this time is gone and we have a split thought of, "what the hell am I doing here?!?!". By then it's too late, the ride drops down and the rush kicks in. We go through loops, turns, and another drop. This is exactly what our lives are.

This is what I meant, we're not "ready". As we go and take that one huge leap in our lives, we go through all these unexpected events that we were not "ready" for. But the key here is that we were prepared. We were strapped in tight with our seat belts that we would not let ourselves fall.

I'm not ready for the next step in my life. Graduate college, find a job, get married, have a family...I'm not ready, but as my life goes by and as I learn from my past experiences, I can be prepared. All I'm saying, we are not ready for anything in life, but we can be prepared for it. Do not expect anything, but experience it.

-a.y.

Finals are over

So, FINALS are finally over. But I am not too satisfied with my grades. It's so funny, I had 4 exams, 2 exams I didn't study at all for and I received a B on both of them. Two exams I did study for I pretty much failed it. So, the least work I put in the better grade I get? I doubt it, but that's what happened for this semester's finals.

Lately, I've been so mean, angry and just down-right pissed off. I apologize to the ones I let my anger off on recently (you can tell). I really don't know what's wrong with me. I've been pretty patient all my life but lately the smallest things aggravate me. I also haven't been sleeping well which leads to messed-up sleeping schedules.

People could say that I've been acting like a little bitch, but why would someone say something that would make me even more pissed-off. But I do agree on some extent. I do feel like I've been acting in a way that's not me. Damn, what the hell, I'm starting to get aggravated just by writing this blog. I thought this can be a stress-reliever.

One other things that's been bothering me. I know I play around a lot. Even to a point I might take it too far, but that's the thing, I just PLAY around. Nothing I do or say, in those situations, is personal. And it's not fair when someone makes fun of me and I can't retaliate back with another joke. But whatever right? Seriously, I'm just not going to say anything at all.

I strongly believe that love is the answer to a lot of the problems, but it's been getting harder and harder.

love is the movement,
-a.y.

FINALS

So the time has come. Light, cold, crisp winds lingering in the air; NFL coming to a close; the thought of Christmas shopping running through your mind...oh yea, that also means FINALS WEEK!

I would have to say I have a somewhat "bittersweet" finals week. My first final does not start until Wednesday, but I have finals Wed, Thurs, and Fri. The bitter part about it is, on Friday I have 2 Final Exams.

The funny thing is Finals Week is the only time I actually study during the semester. I don't consider myself an "over-achiever" but I'm not an "under-achiever". If I was, I would not be in school. I guess I'm in the middle of all that. What would I call it? maybe "Content-Achiever"? hahaha. I guess it's because school is not the only thing that is important to me. Don't get me wrong, I want to do well in school and graduate. But I don't like to determine myself with the gpa or degree I received. I'm all about experience. Life in general is what interest me. It is what makes me get up everyday (if I do wake up) and ask myself, "What am I going to eat?"; Life is what makes me live (except for the grace of God).

So, what I have to say is that do well in your finals, but also have some fun. There's a reason why we have legs: to run and let yourself be free. There's a reason why we have hands: to feel Love not only with our hearts. And there's a reason we have eyes: so we may capture the moment and never forget it.

love is the movement,
A.Y.

oh-no!

so I did it again. I overslept and missed my class. This one was particularity important because it was the last class of the semester and we went over the study guide for final exam. OH my, I'm in a deep hole. Also, as I was looking through my grades I found out that I have a D in a class that I thought I have a C. Pretty much what I'm trying to say is that I am screwed for my Finals.

Yes, Finals week is next week. The time where I stay up all night until the sun light breaks through my window blinds. The time where I go to 7-Eleven or Sheetz to eat like a fat kid that loves cake. The time where I don't really study until 3am of that day. Damn, I hate school. I just can't wait until winter break.

love is the movement,
a.y.

really?

So, I was thinking about something while I was in class. When people, especially girls, say "it's not about the looks", i say OOOOOh PLEEEEASE~

My theory, first: individuals have to be attracted to each other physically to get each other attention. Then, how would you meet that person. I have never heard of someone going up to an "ugly" person to hit on. In the world we live in just does not happen. Yea, i can see someone saying "i fell in love with their personality", but weren't they attracted by their looks first?

I don't think I'm being shallow. I'm just speaking the truth. Truth is Love and Love is Truth.

love is the movement,
a.y.

what?

So, it's currently 5:39am and I decided to start up at blogging page for myself. I actually deleted my xanga account. To be honest, I really do not know why I started up a blog. I guess it's because I can't sleep.

about sleeping...Lately, I have not been able to sleep. I feel like I have some kind sleeping disorder disease. Due to lack of sleep, during the day I'm fatigued. But winter break is coming up for VCU students. I can't wait. I think I'm going to sleep for 24hrs one day and see if that will help me with my "sleeping problem". Before I can go on a break, I have to go through FINAL EXAMS. oh-no!

I'm going to see how much I can keep up with this blogging. maybe it'll end tomorrow or maybe I'll go on for awhile. But, I feel like blogging will help me get some things off of my mind.

love is the movement,
a.y.